thank goodness for the pollen

because it's a lot easier 

to say it's allergies.

BP

wednesdays and tuesdays and all the other days

Today was Wednesday and I didn’t even realize till ten minutes ago

I think my brain was trying to help me forget

Because if it was Wednesday then in four hours it won’t be anymore and then the day he was supposed to come would have come and gone and I would feel sad and down which I can’t afford right now

because yesterday it was Tuesday and

I cried to my parents for the first time since that boy asked my best friend to the prom a year ago (and I can’t believe that was a year ago) and yesterday was Tuesday

Yesterday was Tuesday and I finally caught my parents up on the good and the bad and

And

And

And I would’ve loved to talk to you about that but Tuesdays were busy being Tuesdays and Wednesday was being impatient like it always is and I just didn’t feel like you cared

And on Tuesdays I kept checking to see if you'd written about me or her or anyone
To see if maybe you cared, but you were just afraid to show it
To see if I wasn't so wrong about Wednesdays, shouldn't feel so embarrassed for caring so much

And about a month ago I wrote a post called Tuesday and saved it on my iPhone note pad and sent it to a friend because only two people really read my blog anymore and

When you want to write about one of those two people that still actually read your blog it’s not super convenient to write on your blog

So you write and write and write on an iPhone note pad and send it to your friend

Just to ensure someone out there can see inside your head

So someone knows what you’re feeling, how you’re pinning it all together

But you see my phone is running out of room for Tuesdays and Wednesdays

Running out of the 30-day/week/month free trial session that it signed up for,

To the Getting-my-hopes-up-for-you Magazine

Because the last time I wrote about Tuesdays they had hope for Wednesdays and lots of what ifs hung in the air kind of like mistletoe during Christmastime

But this time the tomorrow in the picture

Isn’t a Wednesday

and I never was that good at writing about Thursdays

BP

the power of a broken heart

This one is for the boy with the leather belt

For the fact that he thought it would feel better

Around his neck than around his waist

For the fact that he told a girl about the demons in his head

And she asked for space

Because hearing those things was hard for her

And it’s not her fault because she didn’t deserve to hear it

Didn’t deserve to be put in a position where someone was blaming her for the darkness in their heart

Didn’t deserve to be reminded that life isn’t anything like 90% of 80s sitcoms made us think it would be

But there she was

And there he was

People telling them it wasn’t that big of a deal

They’re overreacting

Move on

She should just stop being his friend “it isn’t healthy”

And he should just get over himself  and“focus on the positives”

But what no one could seem to understand is the power of a broken heart

The way it can change your life and steals the light from your eyes

The way it hurts

Because if you were walking down the street

And someone started choking you

I can guarantee you anything

If you turned to see who it was

And realized

It was someone you loved

Someone you would’ve given your life to

Someone you trusted,

taking the very life out of your lungs,

You would die of a broken heart

Before you ever had the chance to realize

You were becoming

Short of breath

BP