Nobody tells you that college means a lot of “mom I’m not
sure about this” on the phone kind of crying
Nobody tells you that missing people is a real thing and not
just something you tweet about to seem relatable.
Or maybe they did and I was just too busy chanting “senior
year” while complaining about high school, to hear them.
I’m down in the lobby of my dorm and there’s a bunch of
sorority girls all dressed up and Asian guys speaking Japanese and some sort of
study group going on.
And I really want to stand up and ask them if anyone has
ever slept under the stars to make sure they stay there all night,
or if they’ve ever written
something that became a part of them,
or if they miss having friends who
got excited with them about the key change in “Love on Top” by Beyonce,
or if they ever go to down to the
lobby just to write and check that they still get chills when they read a good
line.
And I think the sorority girls would sit me down and give me
a lot of “oh honey” looks and pluck my eyebrows,
And the Asians would be confused because they don’t speak English,
And the study group probably wouldn’t even look up because I
can’t count the number of times I’ve heard an exasperated “due tomorrow” come
from their corner of the room
But I guess I just would hope I’d see a random hand in the
back
A hand that would be confident, but quiet and really really
proud.
A hand that I could introduce to Paris and dance videos and
slam poetry and cornelia and avery and navy and Harold
A hand that would make seattle feel a little less empty
But I’d also be scared that no hand would come up, and then I’d
feel awkward because I’d be standing on a chair with a lot of confused people
looking at me.
So maybe not today,
Or tomorrow
But one day, I really hope to have enough courage to find
someone to share my Felicity with.
Because she’s getting lonely
And I simply owe her too much to let that happen.
BP
