too long

I just barely typed in the letters

f..

e..

l...

to my search bar
and my blog didn't even come up as a suggested site

it's been too long


I'm living in another state now,
wake up at 5:30 every morning now
go to a class full of the eating-by-the-knight kids from every school across the country for four hours every day now
am almost used to it now

taught a boy what Brazil was last week
tried to explain why I stayed home from the frat party this week
haven't cried since that week
won't see my mom till next week

but I promise,
I have never stopped thinking about Paris
and I'm praying it hasn't forgotten about Felicity

because the people here are great
and the food here is fine
and my bed is pretty ok

but
I miss my dog
and people who enjoy my music
and words that have more than four letters

and the boy with blue eyes and the girl with my last name and the one with fire for hair.

because I started reading blogs and I almost started to cry
because I don't think things in slam anymore
and I haven't sent myself a text with a good line in  a while

And sorry to break it to you but
life isn't metaphors and flowers
it's not explaining feelings with colors and emotions with the weather

its smelly and hard and tiring.

And that's how it stays when you forget to day trip to Paris every once in a while

But I want it to be metaphoric and colorful and stormy

So I think I'm going to mark felicity sharpe as a bookmark
And I'm going to start thinking in blue and rain drops again

Because

maybe I'm a jock

and maybe I spend more time in the weight room than in my journal

(ha)

But also someone had to combine socks and sandals to realize how comfy it was

And Troy had to try out karaoke before he starred in the Spring Musical
And maybe I'll just have to do the same

I'll just have to combine the opposites and show everyone just how amazing it can be
to be so many things that so beautifully combine.


BP